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Unplugging Power Struggles

by Jan Faull, M.Ed.

Detailed Contents


1. The Dreaded Power Struggle

  • What a Power Struggle Looks Like
  • Why Power Struggles Happen
  • The Bicycle Power Struggle

2. Why Children Need Power and Control

  • Power and Control Are Good for Self-Esteem
  • Negative Power and Control
  • Finding the Right Balance
  • The Two-Year-Old
  • The TV Remote Control Power Struggle

3. Choices and Decisions Suitable for Children

  • Choices for Toddlers
  • Control for Older Kids
  • Choices and Decisions for Each Age and Stage
  • Six Tips on Giving Choices
  • The Dinner Party Power Struggle

4. Sometimes You Just Have to Hold On

  • Hold On When Safety Is the Issue
  • The Bicycle Helmet Power Struggle
  • Avoiding the Bicycle Helmet Power Struggle
  • How to Establish a Safety Rule
  • Instilling Values, Avoiding Power Struggles
  • Hold on to Your Control When Your Child is Out of Control
  • Rules

5. Choices, Negotiation, and Compromise

  • Defusing Power Struggles On-the-Fly
  • The Shoes Power Struggle
  • Building Bridges to Competency
  • The Doll Power Struggle
  • Incentives Provide Choice
  • The Saturday Chores Power Struggle
  • Rules Provide Opportunities for Choices
  • The School Gear Power Struggle
  • Compromising Through Formal Negotiation
  • The Wall Poster Power Struggle
  • When Nothing Seems to Work

6. Letting Go of a Power Struggle

  • How to Drop Out
  • Dropping Out Is Not Giving Up
  • Projecting Ahead: Borrowing Trouble
  • The Piano Practice Power Struggle
  • The Mini-Mart Power Struggle
  • Safety Concerns
  • Why Can’t Children Just Comply?

7. Choosing Any One of the Three Options

  • The Bedtime Power Struggle
  • Stressful Circumstances Require Letting Go
  • Jumping Among the Three Options
  • The Clean-Up Power Struggle

8. Power Struggles You Will Always Lose

  • Eating
  • Sleeping
  • Toileting
  • Attitude
  • Pace
  • Thinking
  • Emotions
  • Temperament

9. What You Bring to Power Struggles

  • Powerful Parents
  • Powerless Parents
  • Parents Who Seek the Ideal Child
  • Perfectionist Parents
  • Parents with Unrealistic Expectations
  • Parents Who Want Their Child to Complete What They Didn’t
  • Parents Whose Children Must Succeed as They Did
  • The Homework Power Struggle
  • Parental Growing Pains

10. Tapping into Your True Power

  • How the Homework Power Struggle Might Have Been Avoided
  • Tap into Your Positive Power

11. Rebuilding Damaged Relationships

  • Communicating Unconditional Love
  • Along with Love Goes Teaching Skills


Helpful Resources


Book Cover

Useful for 2–10 years
128 pages
$13.95 paperback
$21.95 library

Book Description

About the Author:
Jan Faull, M.Ed.

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Last updated June 17, 2014