Love & Limits

by Elizabeth Crary, M.S.

Before You Begin

Everyone is Different
Where to Start
Star Points and Tools
Problem-Solving Process
Commitment

Understanding Kids

Developmental Tasks
Temperament

Look for Good Behavior (First set of tools)

Give Attention
Praise
Reward

Avoid Problems (Second set of tools)

Make Expectations Clear
Give Two Yeses for Every No
Change the Situation

Acknowledge Feelings (Third set of tools)

Simple Listening
Active Listening
Grant in Fantasy

Set Appropriate Limits (Fourth set of tools)

State Clear Rules
Develop Consequences
Follow Through

Teach New Skills (Fifth set of tools)

Modeling
Re-do It Right
Shaping

Deal with Feelings (Using all the points)

Teach New Skills
Look for Good Behavior
Acknowledge Feelings
Avoid Problems
Set Limits

Reduce Power Struggles (Using all the tools)

Look for Good Behavior
Acknowledge Feelings
Avoid Problems
Set Limits
Teach New Skills

Solving Problems with the Tools

Four-Step Process
Sample Problem
Work Sheet

Where to Go Next

Use Books
Ask People for Ideas
Pretend!
Take a Class
What’s Holding You Back?

Useful for 1–8 years
48 pages
$9.95 paperback
$16.95 library

Available in Spanish as
Amor & Límites

Table of Contents