Tip--As you become steadily less involved in your child's going to sleep ritual, your child will gradually rely more and more on her own resources for getting to sleep.

In previous "Tip & Tool" articles we've looked at using the Cry It Out method and the Family Bed method for managing children's sleep problems. This week we'll look at a middle-of-the-road option for parents who don't want children in bed with them, but can't tolerate the prolonged crying that can happen with the Cry It Out approach.

The Teaching In Small Steps method is based on the belief that children learn best and adapt most readily to new expectations when the change is presented gradually, says Rebecca Huntley, author of The Sleep Book for Tired Parents. Since the child is accustomed to a certain sleep pattern, you don't cut him off from it suddenly, but introduce changes in small steps, working toward the goal of the child going, and getting back to sleep on his own. This method works quite well for a child who is used to needing his parents' help or presence to get to sleep.

Tool--Although there are countless variations on this method, the basic approach is to put the child to bed, and then, as he cries, progressively lengthen the intervals between checking on him until he falls asleep. The idea is not to let the child cry himself to exhaustion, but to check on him briefly to show that you are still "out there" and to provide encouragement. When you first put him to bed, let him fuss for the "minimum" time for the day (see below). The checking times are brief and soothing, but need not end the crying. Make sure you are not present when the child actually falls asleep.

The schedule for the intervals between checking for the first three days might look like this:

• Day One: 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes (continue on with 15 minute intervals as long as needed).

• Day Two: 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes (continue on with 20 minute intervals, as needed).

• Day Three: 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 25 minutes (continue on with 25 minute intervals, as needed).

If your child wakes in the middle of the night, follow the same program. Notice that, with the above plan, both parents and child gradually learn to tolerate longer and longer separations.

This plan can be used with children as young as six months. It is particularly suited to children going through separation anxiety.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in The Sleep Book for Tired Parents by Rebecca Huntley.

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