Tip--Planning is crucial to the success of the Cry It Out approach.

Cry It Out is probably the most common remedy for a child who won't go, or go back, to sleep. It is successful for a great many families, although it is not the only option (see also Tip & Tool article The Family Bed, July 3, 1999).

According to parent educator Rebecca Huntley, author of The Sleep Book for Tired Parents, there are two beliefs behind the Cry It Out approach: first, unwanted behavior that is ignored will die out; and second, a reasonable amount of crying does not hurt a child.

The Cry It Out approach subscribes to the belief that children need to learn the important life skill of putting oneself to sleep.

Tool--This is how to do it. After a comforting bedtime ritual, you leave the bedroom and allow the child to cry until she falls asleep. Use the same approach each time the child is put to bed or wakes. If she wakes in the night, respond promptly to the first cry to make sure nothing is wrong (like sickness). Then let her cry to sleep.

In order to be successful with this plan, you need to give it adequate forethought. First, consider your child's temperament. Some children do not cry themselves to sleep. Instead, they escalate into hysteria, or become so upset they throw up, or simply stay awake and cry all night long. If you know your child to react like this, choose another approach.

Before you start, make sure your child is in good health and is not under any undue stress, like a recent move, a divorce, starting a new daycare or preschool, etc. This is a plan to use under optimum conditions.

You and your spouse need to be prepared to tolerate a lengthy period of crying. Some parents muffle the sound by draping the child's door with blankets. Others will wait out the crying in a remote area of the house with a monitor turned on very low. It won't be easy. However, most children learn after one to three nights that you are serious and they must go to sleep. Some children need up to 7-10 days of this plan. They cry less and less as the plan proceeds.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in The Sleep Book for Tired Parents by Rebecca Huntley.

E-mail this page to a friend