Tip--Help your older child adjust to a new baby by noticing, commenting on, and encouraging positive interaction.

Keep in mind--Young children are not always as thrilled about a new addition to the family as their parents are. Their feelings are understandably mixed. Although they are proud of their newfound big boy/big girl status, it is still difficult for them to give up that "baby position" in the family.

Children react to the change in their family in different ways. Some children are openly hostile toward the baby, some are kind to the baby but hostile toward their mothers, and some breeze through the change without any trouble at all. Although each child's response is unique, all children will benefit from the following tips and tools.

Tools--Karen Hendrickson, author of Baby and I Can Play and Fun with Toddlers, offers the following recommendations for encouraging a close, positive relationship between siblings.

• Ask your child, "What ways does our baby have of showing how special you are to her?" (The baby might smile, grasp a finger, or watch the older child.) Tell your child often what a special big brother/big sister s/he is.

• A daily play time, alone with either mom or dad, has been shown to be one of the most useful things parents can do to minimize sibling rivalry. Your older child will feel more kindly toward the baby if he knows he has some exclusive time with you reserved.

• If your child is showing some negative feelings toward the baby, ask, "Do you sometimes wish the baby would go away?" Be sure to accept your child's answer as well as any negative feelings he might express, since he needs to know that you care about his feelings, but emphasize that while it's okay to be mad at the baby, it's never okay to hit or hurt the baby.

  

• Notice when your child interacts or plays well with the baby and praise him for doing so. For example, "I saw how gently you stroked the baby's cheek. Good job being a gentle big brother."

• Some families make a "Nursing Box" for the older child to play with while mom is feeding the baby. It can have special toys in it and is only available during nursing time. Interest in the box can be maintained by changing the toys regularly.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in Baby and I Can Play and Fun with Toddlers by Karen Hendrickson.

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