Tip--Consequences work much more smoothly for parents who have think ahead and decide what on consequence for each broken rule and then deliver them consistently.

Keep in mind--Remember, good logical consequences are real choices, are related to the child's behavior, are not threatening, and happen every time the rule is broken. (See last week's tip for more on logical consequences.)

Elizabeth Crary, author of Love & Limits, cautions parents to not give in to children's apologies, pleas, or promises of better behavior in the future when faced with a consequence. "Just ignore the pleas or tantrums and calmly enforce the consequence," she says. "Children need to know that you will follow through with what you say you will do."

Tools--The following are parents' suggestions for good logical consequences that can be used in many typical situations.

Lose a Privilege--Examples might be:

• If children mistreats a toy, they lose the privilege of playing with it;
• If a child comes in late, he loses 2-10 minutes of play time the next afternoon;
• If a child abuses phone privileges, she loses phone time.

Redo it Right--Examples might be:

• If a child does not wash his hands or does it poorly, a parent watches him at the sink to see that he does it well;
• If a child does a poor job of cleaning the kitchen, a parent supervises her redoing it right before she's allowed to go on to her next activity;
• If a child is rude to a sibling at the table, he must rephrase his opinion/comment in a more respectful way.

Do a Kindness--Examples might be:

• If a child knocks down her sibling's block tower, she must rebuild it and then do something nice for the sibling;
• If a child damages another person's property, he must repair or replace it and then do something kind for that person;
• If a child eats a sibling's treat without permission, he must replace it and then do something nice for the sibling.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in Love & Limits: Guidance Tools for Creative Parenting by Elizabeth Crary.

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