Tip—Adequate downtime for play helps build social skills and creativity in children.

At Parenting Press, a lot of thought and attention goes into figuring out how best to help children learn important social skills like cooperating with others, identifying feelings, and solving problems. What fun it is, then, to read about research that recommends freestyle group play among children as a way to practice negotiating disagreements, solving conflicts, and sticking up for themselves. Is it as easy as play? Yes and no. Such social skills do come easily to some children, but to others, it’s less intuitive and more of a learned skill. The happy part is that unstructured play is good for kids and helps them learn these important life skills. I say let’s break out the lemonade and toast the good researchers (American Academy of Pediatrics) who have confirmed what wise parents have known all along: play is a necessary part of childhood.

As I pointed out in last week’s Tip, unstructured play is endangered in our society. An over-abundance of organized activities aren’t the only culprits drawing our children away from old-fashioned play—our high level of techno-pursuits also tempts children away from hands-on play. Watching TV or dvd’s replaces reading a storybook. Playing electronic games is often chosen over organizing a sandlot baseball game or putting on a puppet show. I recently commented to a life-long friend that my children didn’t seem to be such precocious readers as I remembered us being at the same ages. “I think it’s because kids have so many ready-made entertainment options,” she commented. “We had to make up most of our play—and I think we had more fun and were more creative about it.” We’ve long known that unstructured solitary play is crucial to developing creativity. We parents need to guard our children’s play time and encourage less reliance on electronic self-entertainment.

Tools—This week I’ve provided a fun option for encouraging creative play in school-aged children. You will need a deck of Feeling Elf Cards & Games by Elizabeth Crary or you can make up your own cards to use.

• Elf Stories: Shuffle the cards and have your child draw four cards with named emotions on them. The adult makes up a story about the elf using the four cards. If, for example, the cards are curious, scared, furious, and pleased, a story might be told this way:

  An elf was playing at the zoo. She saw an open door and was curious where it went. When she stepped inside, she saw a lion! She felt scared and froze. The lion roared at her. That made her furious, so she stomped out and slammed the door. When she thought about what happened, she was pleased the lion roared instead of eating her.

  For the next round, let your child draw different cards and tell his own story. These kinds of storytelling games encourage creativity and help children observe how feelings can change.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in Feeling Elf Cards & Games by Elizabeth Crary, M.S.

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