Feature Story
10 Books Published (and more in the works)—But No Great American Novel for Shari Steelsmith

Her college classmates may have dreamed that their English majors might lead to the great American novel, but Shari Steelsmith had no such unrealistic ambitions. She still doesn't—despite the fact that she has written or co-authored ten books in the twenty-some years since college graduation and has at least a couple of other manuscripts in progress.

Because most of Steelsmith's books have been written for children or parents, it would be easy to pigeonhole her, but even if you look at just the titles of her books, you can't help but be impressed by the variety of topics and audiences she's addressed. She's written for everyone from toddlers to adults, on subjects ranging from history and small business to early childhood education and child guidance.

By the time the manuscript was ready for field-testing, Steelsmith was married and the mother of a baby boy. In between, she was asked to write How to Open & Operate a Home-Based Day-Care Business (Globe-Pequot Press, [800] 243-0495, globepequot.com, $14.95). She had never worked in a child care center, but she did know how to write; after hundreds of interviews with day-care providers in the western U.S., she produced a practical guide that is now in its fifth edition, with 35,000 copies in print. Steelsmith is also the author, with Elizabeth Crary, of four books for toddlers on emotions and the co-publisher of a book on toilet training.

Today she concentrates more on discipline, with her most recent book, Go to Your Room!: Consequences That Teach (Parenting Press, Inc./Raefield-Roberts, (800) 992-6657), ParentingPress.com, $14.95). It evolved from Steelsmith's search for better consequences to impose on her own children; despite her work with parent education and child guidance materials, she had discovered that she was responding to her children on an emotional level, usually out of frustration.

"I needed that book," Steelsmith explained. "The consequences I was using weren't working and I couldn't find a book that offered the kind—or number—of creative ideas that I wanted."

To get the specifics she wanted—detailed recommendations for calmly handling certain kinds of misbehavior, Steelsmith polled hundreds of parents about their concerns and their solutions. The result is an easy-to-use guide that walks parents of 2 to 12-year-olds through dozens of concerns.

For each problem, she identifies the "level of offensiveness," the natural consequences and several possible solutions. If your kids are misbehaving for the baby-sitter, for example, you can turn to page 64 and find that Steelsmith has rated this problem a #1: it's obnoxious but not too serious (as compared to #2, which she defines as "Important to address but not earth-shattering," or #3, "Unsafe, immoral or simply intolerable").

Next comes a list of what parents can do. For the baby-sitter problem, Steelsmith has seven suggestions, ranging from making kids provide a "combat pay" bonus for the baby-sitter to apologizing to the sitter.

Her straightforward advice has won praise from many readers, who appreciate the "we're all in this together" spirit. That's exactly what Steelsmith wants. Unlike many parenting authors, she wants her readers to know that she, like every other mother and father, has failed and will fail again. Most important, she says, is that parents learn from these failures and, if necessary, change their guidance tactics. The goal is to ensure that kids learn from their mistakes and change their behavior.

"And I want people to know that I understand the relentless work of parenting, that I know what kind of time and energy it takes, because I'm a mom, too."

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