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Parenting Press®Welcome to the September 2009
“News for Parents”
This electronic newsletter has dozens of ideas that we at Parenting Press hope you’ll find helpful and interesting. To suggest a story topic or to comment on article content or format, please use the link after each article; we welcome your feedback.
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IN THIS ISSUE
- WHAT’S NEW?
- FEATURES
- POTPOURRI
- COMING ATTRACTIONS
- Helping Kids Overcome Writer’s Block
- Advice from Librarians on Informative Web Sites
- Head Start on Holiday Gifts Kids Can Create
I. WHAT’S NEW?
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Parenting Press Is 30 Years Old!
Most publishers start small, and Parenting Press is no exception: the parenting book that Elizabeth Crary wrote on her dining table was self-published in 1979. The first 5,000 copies were warehoused in the garage, and the dining table was used for invoicing and packing between meals.
That first book, Without Spanking or Spoiling, sold like the proverbial hot cakes—and launched a company that today has published almost 100 books, plus years of newsletters and downloadable books and information sheets.
Parenting Press’s initial focus was parenting, and its current catalog is still full of titles that suggest how parents can handle issues like discipline. Early on, however, Crary also recognized the importance of truly useful children’s books.
In the early 1980s, when no major publisher would consider a title on sexual abuse, Crary published It’s MY Body, by Lory Freeman. It sold even faster than Without Spanking or Spoiling. Recognizing a market for gentle, factual books on abuse prevention, Crary gradually added related books; today there is an entire library of “personal safety” books, most available in both Spanish and English.
Without Spanking or Spoiling was based on Crary’s work and experience as a parent educator at a local community college; It’s MY Body evolved from Freeman’s preschool teaching. Today, most Parenting Press books are based on the teaching experience of the authors and are field tested by parents, child-guidance professionals, and children.
The time spent in field testing and internal review results in better books—books that become what Crary calls “modern classics,” books you’ll take down from your shelf over and over and over again.
Many Parenting Press books tackle tough topics: peer pressure, bullying, petty theft, grief, death, and feelings like frustration, anger, and fear. They talk about getting kids to take on chores, about surviving adolescence, and about adapting guidance techniques to your child’s temperament.
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Preschool’s Exciting and Exhausting!
Preschool is an exciting place for little ones, so it’s no wonder that they come home tired and cranky!
As Eileen Kennedy-Moore, the clinical psychologist and mother of four who wrote What About Me? 12 Ways to Get Your Parents’ Attention (Without Hitting Your Sister), reminds us, “There are lots of toys to play with, new skills to learn, and the stimulation and uncertainty of interacting with peers whose moods, words, and actions are intriguing but somewhat unpredictable.”
Then, she says, there’s the tension of having to exercise fledgling self-control skills—remembering to sit “criss-cross-applesauce,” to follow directions, to refrain from grabbing or poking a neighbor when standing in line, and to ask to use the potty when necessary.
To ease the after-school transition, focus on helping your child refuel, Kennedy-Moore advises. Feed your preschooler as soon as possible after school.
“Research by Roy Baumeister shows that exercising self-control depletes glucose and makes subsequent self-control more difficult,” she continues, adding “You may even want to have a healthy snack ready to hand to your child as soon as he or she emerges from school.”
“Refueling” means more than food. Think about what kinds of soothing activities help your child refuel, recommends Kennedy-Moore, whose children were born within an eight-year period.
“Some preschoolers need quiet time alone to ‘decompress,’ whereas other need to report in detail everything that happened at school. Many children find it soothing to use a rocking chair or swing or play with water. Reading books or listening to music are other possibilities.
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How Teachers Can Reach Both Boys and Girls
Especially when transitions to new schools are rocky, parents may question whether a child belongs in a single-sex classroom for a particular subject or in a single-sex school. Another question is what techniques used in single-sex classrooms could be used by all teachers for the benefit of both boys and girls.
To introduce “News for Parents” readers and their families to gender-specific needs, we turned to a new book, Successful Single-Sex Classrooms (Jossey-Bass Teacher, 2009). The authors are Michael Gurian, who has written extensively on how boys and girls learn differently, and his Gurian Institute associates Kathy Stevens and Peggy Daniels, who both also have classroom experience. Although subtitled “A Practical Guide to Teaching Boys & Girls Separately,” this is an easy-to-read introduction to gender-specific learning styles that can help parents determine what might improve how individual children learn.
How Brains Differ by Gender
Since the 1990s, significant improvement in brain imaging technologies has allowed scientists to observe brains in action; they can see much of where and how learning occurs.“Much of this new research has demonstrated that the brains of boys and men are markedly different—anatomically, hormonally and functionally—from the brains of girls and women,” write the authors.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that all boys think the same way and that all girls think in one very different way. Although Successful Single-Sex Classrooms says that there are more than a hundred structural variations between the male and female brain, Gurian et al. emphasize, “It is crucial that we all agree that every child is an individual.” Each of us may be somewhere different on the spectrum between “girl brain” and “boy brain,” and many of us may be right in the middle.
Structural Differences
The female brain tends to have more and faster neural connections in the cerebral cortex, which means girls often process classroom instructions and make transitions faster. They are more likely to multitask and to access verbal resources. This part of the brain, as well as the frontal cortex, usually matures later in boys, making them more impulsive and more inclined to risky behavior. The fact that cerebellums are larger in boys’ brains is believed to be why many boys learn better when they are moving. This need to move is also why so many boys are accused of being disruptive or impulsive when they are simply responding to biological needs.Other significant differences mean that girls can explain their feelings faster than boys can, and that boys may respond physically (by swearing or by kicking, for example) when they are not given enough time to process the emotional content of a situation. Girls tend to have greater memory storage, which can lead to “drama queens” and holding grudges.
Processing Differences
Because girls have language processing areas in both hemispheres of the brain, they tend to develop language earlier than boys, and on average, use more words throughout life. If boys are not developmentally ready for reading and writing at age 5 or 6, they may become frustrated and negative, which creates gender gaps in these skills that can persist into high school.The higher level of testosterone in male brains gets the credit for men and boys usually having better spatial and abstract reasoning. This is compounded by the fact, says Gurian et al., that girls often don’t get the practice they need in spatial reasoning and thus need more encouragement in science and technology classes.
Another difference: females tend to process more sensory data, seeing better, having better senses of hearing and smell, and taking in more tactile information. This shows up in their writing, conversation and artwork. When you work with boys, say the authors, you must be vigilant about encouraging them to use more sensory descriptors. Give boys examples of the kind of detail you want rather than simply saying “Use more detail.”
What Works Well with Boys
Because so many boys have difficulty sitting still, Successful Single-Sex Classrooms recommends techniques like these—whether you’re a parent helping with homework or a teacher:- Consider allowing kids to hold squeeze balls when seated for listening and writing projects. This may help boys to focus.
- Increase kids’ movements by having them walk to pick up supplies.
- Have students practice spelling words by “writing” them with a finger on the back of a partner.
- Use lively music when kids are transitioning to another activity or cleaning up.
- Provide as much desk space as possible for each student, to eliminate distractions and reduce unnecessary physical contact.
- Keep water available: dehydration increases the stress hormone.
- Avoid rooms that are too warm: they make kids uncomfortable, affecting how well they can learn and sometimes promoting aggressive behavior.
- Provide lots of light, especially natural light. “Without enough light, our brains send our bodies the message that it is time to be drowsy,” the authors remind.
Especially for Boys
To effectively relate to boys as parent, teacher or counselor, Gurian et al. recommend:- Find times and appropriate ways for boys to express their feelings, ideally while walking together or in a game or activity
- Model good anger management
- Don’t take things personally
- Guide boys past stereotypes, toward a more inclusive view of what it means to be male
- Create opportunities for hands-on learning
- Give directions more than once and in different ways, always being brief and concise
Especially for Girls
Similarly, this is what the authors recommend for parents or instructors of girls:- Encourage girls to take risks as they learn
- Emphasize that mistakes happen, and that we can learn from them
- Show that there is more than one way to approach a problem
- Make sure girls can participate in conversations and activities without put-downs
- Discourage needless apologizing. Encourage pride in their work and gender.
- Provide collaborative and cooperative projects so that girls learn to share responsibility and develop trust
- Help girls work individually so they see how much they can do on their own
- Use good questioning techniques and recognize girls when they ask good questions
- Provide competitive experiences
- Explain your points, especially those involving spatial and mechancial information, with a variety of words and drawings to help all girls interpret and understand
- Encourage girls to realistically evaluate and judge the media’s messages
Successful Single-Sex Classrooms also recommends that parents and instructors at all age levels:
- Help girls identify the sources of their anger and channel the triggers in more appropriate ways
- Frequently re-configure groups of girls to reduce concern about cliques
- Teach girls to be mindful of their needs and not ignore them
- Challenge girls to stand up for what is right
- Teach girls to be assertive while still being respective of others
- Discourage pessimism
- Address physical, verbal and online bullying
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Cut, Sew, Tape and Tie: Quick Costumes
It’s almost Halloween, and your family might also have a school play or holiday pageant in the months ahead. You know what those all mean: costumes!
Eileen Kennedy-Moore, the mother of four children who are always well-costumed, and the author of our What About Me? 12 Ways to Get Your Parents’ Attention (Without Hitting Your Sister), is full of suggestions for turning inexpensive oversized sweatshirts into critter disguises. (If you’re feeling all thumbs, she also has a confession: “Because I have more imagination than skill, I have relied heavily on glue and staples!”)
Hats and wigs are wonderful for costumes.
Image from The Way I Feel and Así me siento yo, both copyright Janan CainShe almost always starts by turning the shirts inside out. Black, brown and white shirts are easily transformed into bears, dogs, rats, rabbits, cats and even a Sasquatch. Need a chubby critter? Duct tape or safety pin newspaper, a small pillow or a roll of quilt batting to the inside of the sweatshirt. Cut the sleeves to an appropriate length for your child and use the leftover fabric for a tail and ears. If you need a curly tail or perky ears, use wire—even a wire hanger for shape. Underneath, kids can wear matching sweatpants (right or fuzzy side) in their correct size and a turtleneck. If it’s cold, add a pair of “stretch-to-fit” gloves in the appropriate color. Get out face paints or an eyeliner pencil to draw the whiskers on your child’s face.
More tips from Kennedy-Moore:
Use angel wings from the dollar store and yellow felt to turn a black sweatshirt and tights into a bumblebee costume
Make red felt wings with black dots to transform another black sweatshirt into a ladybug
Make a snowball with a white sweatshirt decorated with large white pompons and snowflakes drawn with silver glitter glue
Your girl would rather be a princess or a fairy? It doesn’t take many stitches to turn yards of tulle into a glamorous skirt that she can slip over a long-sleeved leotard and tights. Triple her waist measurement and buy at least that much in tulle in at least two colors—pink and gold, maybe, or green and turquoise. Use elastic to gather the material together for a bright poufy skirt. (If she’s short, fold the tulle double before you gather it.) Add a glittery cape or shawl and a tiara and then all she’ll need is a magic wand. For that, she can glue a cardboard star to each side of a foot-long dowel and cover it all with glitter before tying on ribbons or tulle scraps.
Capes also work well if someone wants to be a witch or Dracula. Take a yard of fabric, fold over the top for a casing (and hem the other sides if you have time), and gather it with one-inch wide elastic. Sew a giant snap or Velcro at the neck (so the cape will release more easily if caught on anything). The “sew-less” solution, especially for “royalty” or super-heroes, can be a yard of fabric tacked to the sweat shirt or leotard’s shoulder seams with a few stitches or a couple of fancy rhinestone pins.
Shari Steelsmith, author of Go to Your Room!: Consequences That Teach and our weekly tips, recommends that every home with children have a dress-up box. Even when your children outgrow dress-up play, she says, “Mine regularly raid the box for costumes for various school projects or movies they make for fun.”
Besides the usual capes, hats, scarves, and masks in a dress-up box, Steelsmith had another brainstorm: “I kept a bunch of old bridesmaid dresses from years ago—hey, what else are you going to do with them?”
At the home of the “News for Parents” editor, the dress-up box was a favorite with visitors, who headed straight for the wigs, beaded shawls, cowboy boots, vests from old three-piece suits a and grass skirt brought from Hawaii.
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Quick Prep for the PSAT, SAT and ACT
Help soothe your high school student’s test anxiety by providing lots of opportunities to practice for the state assessment exams and college admission tests. Some mock test questions make good topics for dinner-table conversation, regardless of the age of your children.
Test prep does not have to be expensive. One of the most significant factors in a student’s performance on the verbal section of any test is size of vocabulary. Enhancing a child’s vocabulary can be as simple as reading a dictionary, studying prefixes and suffixes or using a vocabulary builder book.
Online tools that are free—and fun—include:
at www.princetonreview.com/podcasts.aspx, the Princeton Review podcasts (some sing “bird” songs to ensure you remember the difference between “albatross” and “stool pigeon”)
at www.freerice.com, Free Rice, quizzes in vocabulary, grammar, usage, math, chemistry, geography, art and four foreign languages (with grains of rice donated through the UN World Food Program for every correct answer)
at www.collegeboard.com, College Board “Have you tried today’s SAT question?” (which covers math as well as vocabulary)
at www.nytimes.com/learning/students/satofday/index.html, the New York Times and Kaplan, Inc. “Test Prep Question of the Day” (which also includes more than vocabulary)
II. FEATURES
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Tips for the month
Each Saturday, Parenting Press posts a new parenting tip and the previous week’s tip is moved to the archive. The topics planned for September are:
September 5 — Words to Use During Potty Training
September 12 — Common Potty Training Missteps
September 19 — Mysteries of Toddlerhood, Revealed
September 26 — Helping Kids Resolve a Squabble
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Family Fun Ideas — Game Day!
How many kids know Red Rover, Red Rover—or how to hula a hoop? Enjoy the late summer sunshine with an impromptu “game day” one evening. . .or invite family and friends for a weekend barbecue and an afternoon of Capture the Flag and Hopscotch. Remember a square of white fabric for the flag and chalk for the Hopscotch “court.”
Need to brush up on the rules before you get the kids outside? Wikipedia explains Red Rover, Capture the Flag, and Hopscotch (invented during the Roman Empire!), double dutch and provides jump-rope rhymes with instructions such as:
“Spanish dancer, turn around,
“Spanish dancer, touch the ground.
“Spanish dancer, do a high kick,
“Spanish dancer, get out of town quick!”
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Community Service — “Parents’ Night Out”
Our goal with this column is to suggest ways that you can model the concept of sharing and giving back to your community. There are other practical advantages to community service, too. Kids can use these projects to meet school or youth group requirements for community service and to start building resumes that they’ll use when applying for first jobs or college.
This month, consider helping your older kids organize a community-wide baby-sitting service with the help of a child care center or church with nursery that can provide facility and a supervisor. Kids work as the sitters in return for donations that benefit a youth group or team, their school or a child- or family-oriented charity. Maybe the high school cheerleaders sponsor a sitter service on the evening when your district’s elementary schools have their parent open houses, or the church youth group members are the volunteers when the sanctuary is used for a concert.
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Raise funds with a Parenting Press Book Fair
Would your school or group like a new fund-raiser?
For years Parenting Press has been offering its carefully written books on child guidance, problem solving and dealing with feelings through preschool Book Fairs. Now our Book Fairs are being expanded to schools, churches, child-care programs, parenting groups—any organization that can use parenting and children’s books.
More information about our Book Fairs is posted online. You’ll find a copy of the brochure, an explanation of how much you can earn with a Book Fair, a step-by-step guide to make Book Fairs easy and fun to organize, and downloadable promotional materials.
III. POTPOURRI
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Special of the month — Celebrate 30 Years!
This special has expired.
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