How to Reduce Internet Risk
When adults worry about the Internet, most think first of children’s safety. What are kids being exposed to? Will they be victims of predators? Or of cyber-bullies among their own classmates? Is there a chance that they are hacking or harassing someone?
Just as you childproof a house before infants start to crawl, it’s ideal to educate yourself about the Internet when your children are very young, so that you understand what the risks are for your entire family. Once your children are introduced to computers and the Internet, you won’t have time to learn about kids and cyberspace: the kids will outpace your savvy almost overnight.
They may be surfing sites you’ve never heard of, creating their own web pages, and using a blog as an illustrated diary of school, social and family life. They’ll probably also be cyber-chatting or playing games with people around the world—and around the clock. As one research study recently pointed out, nine of 10 American kids are online every day.
Kids may also be breaking the law—deliberately or unwittingly. Some see the Internet as a challenge, as an opportunity to program viruses just for the fun of seeing how well they work. Or to test their hacking expertise, kids want to see how many databases they can crack into or how much spam they can send.
Many, of course, are “simply” bootlegging copyrighted music, images and software. Some assume that because they’re kids, whatever they’re doing will be overlooked or at worst, dismissed as childish pranks. Some commit crimes because they don’t know the law: they may believe copyrighted material can be shared when it’s for personal use or that there’s nothing wrong with e-mailing naked pictures of themselves to friends.
That’s why Parenting Press is providing this introduction to the cyberworld in parent-friendly language. We welcome your comments regarding this article’s contents: you can reach us at marketing@ParentingPress.com, (800) 992-6657, Ext. 105.
Teach your kids about the Internet
When you show young children how to use a computer, walk them through every step, just as you do when they are learning to cross the street, write their names or bake cookies.
Start by explaining the importance of keeping the computer area clean and dry, that they should finish snacks and wash their hands before sitting down at the keyboard. This reinforces the concept of rules—for computer use, just as for using scissors, bikes, and the kitchen stove.
When you start children on a computer so young that they always sit on your lap or by your side, they are more likely to be comfortable with your continued supervision of computer activity.
Show even young children a little of what you enjoy about the Internet: the pictures from friends and family as they come in e-mail, the Children’s Museum web site that describes an exhibit you’re going to see, and the library’s calendar of story hours. Introduce sites where kids can play games and earn virtual prizes for appropriate behavior.
Emphasize the publicness of Internet
Make sure your kids understand that although you access the Internet from your home, and it feels private, you’re really communicating with millions of people all over the world.
Use a map to point out locations of the friends, family and Internet retailers who receive your e-mail. You might also show your child a listserv or other forum that lists hometowns.
Explain that there are many, many more people on the Internet than you know and that some occasionally send scary or confusing messages. Emphasize that if your child receives something like that or an inappropriate image, you or another adult should be shown the message immediately. If a child does show you something questionable, praise him or her for being honest and alert.
Emphasize the permanence of the Internet
Once posted, a message can be available for years. This applies to what your family publishes—the profile on a social networking site, a question on a listserv, a comment on someone else’s blog or a photo caption on your own blog.
It also applies to comments you make that are published in print and online—a letter to the editor of your local paper or a complaint at the school board meeting that is recorded in the official minutes. Whatever other kids post about your children, whether truth or fiction, may also be available online for what seems like forever.
Make the Internet a family activity
If you create a family blog or web site, your kids can practice good Internet habits in a supervised setting. As you work with them on this group project, they will also be aware that you’re web-savvy and alert to annoying, unsavory and illegal e-mail and Internet activity.
Show them how you determine who can see your family blog. When you access the blogs created by other friends or extended family members, show the kids how other families also limit who sees personal pictures and information.
Stay informed
As kids master computer software and explore the Internet, ask them to demonstrate what they’ve learned. Have them show you their favorite sites.
Learn to decipher your children’s messages. You’ll probably need a quick lesson in that foreign language known as chatroom lingo. For terms such as “POS” (Parent Over Shoulder), you’ll find a glossary at The CyberTipline, www.missingkids.com/adcouncil/lingo.html.
Control access to sensitive information
What’s involved with ensuring that your family’s Internet use does not expose all of you to unnecessary risk? Let’s repeat the two key words: public and permanent.
If you are concerned about predators, realize that it takes only minutes for someone familiar with Internet searches to uncover names, addresses, phone numbers, directions to your home, organizations you belong to and other information that can be used to reach both adults and children in a family.
What is archived in search engines can reveal information even from web sites that have been removed or revised. For example, a Google search for your name may show the telephone number and e-mail address you posted on a www.craigslist.com advertisement three months ago.
How can you control this?
Limit what’s published about your family
Remember that some directory publishers solicit listings as a means of building mail or e-mail lists that can be sold. For example, kids are often contacted by “who’s who” style directories that attract responses by claiming the detailed profiles of honorees will be sent to college admissions officers.
Limit the online information about you
If your employer, professional association, alma mater, alumni association or club has a web site with a description of you, ensure that it does not provide information that could be combined with other public information to endanger you or your family.
For example, say, “lives with her family in the Chicago area” rather than “lives with her husband Tom and teenage daughters Melanie and Margaret in Riverside, Ill.” Even casual comments such as “enthusiastic lacrosse players” can help someone refine a search for your family.
Don’t make your home easy to find
Consider having your street address removed from online address and telephone databases and from traditional telephone directories, including the White Pages and your children’s school directories.
“Unpublished” is not as secure as “Unlisted,” and even “Unlisted” addresses show up in legal records. With a telephone number someone can use a reverse directory to find an address and with an address, a search engine can provide directions to your house, an aerial photograph of your block and the estimated value of your house. With as little information as a ZIP code, a predator can find nearby schools and make assumptions about where your kids are during the day.
Be wary of blog postings
Blogs that you create for family and friends should be password-protected or require your approval to access. Limit how much information you post: consider using only first names and general references to hometowns (“the Phoenix area” rather than “Chandler”). Avoid identifying kids’ schools and teams by name. If you allow readers to post comments, set up the blog so that you review all comments prior to their being posted. Edit out posts with identifying information (“Grandma is so proud of Verde Valley School’s valedictorian!”). If the site offers a “block spiders and robots” option, select it; that’ll reduce the chance of your posting being referenced on a search engine.
Select e-mail addresses carefully
The best e-mail address does not reveal distinguishing information such as Social Security number, birth date or personal characteristics that will attract predators. This is especially true for children and teenagers. “kcb@isp.net” is safer than “kathyintacoma@isp.net” or “partygirl@isp.net.”
Control use of your e-mail address
Avoid providing your permanent e-mail address when it’s not necessary. If your personal e-mail address appears online (as the contact for an activity or team, for example) consider using a free e-mail account such as Yahoo or Gmail with an address that can be easily changed.
Try to have your address posted in a format that cannot be retrieved mechanically: “bob at yahoo.com” will result in less spam than “bob@yahoo.com.”
Opt-out of address-sharing. If you register for an e-mail newsletter and want to receive only that publication, uncheck the box by the opt-in statement, which will say something similar to “Yes, you may send me e-mail about related products.”
Review what personal information is online
Periodically check both general and specialized search engines for references to every member of your family. There are three reasons:
To see what is online about all of you, and whether you’re comfortable with this information being public,
To check if anyone is posting inaccurate, embarrassing or private information about you and family members,
To determine if anyone is impersonating you (which usually involves harassment).
General search engines such as Google, A9, Yahoo and AltaVista will find such online references to you as newspaper and newsletter stories: for example, about a position you’ve taken or projects you’re handling for a church, school, or organization. Such a search may also turn up the names of your children, if they have been recognized as a member of the bell choir, as “Student of the Month” or as a top-seller in the gift wrap fundraiser.
Transcripts of radio and television stories that mention you are also often online—and you need not be famous for this to happen. For example, an obituary may list family members by full name and hometown. Competitions such as fund-raising marathons may divide results by gender and age group and provide hometowns as well as names. A search may also show lawsuits, building permit applications and real estate purchases (which usually include addresses).
Search engines can also find information about you on newsgroups, mailing lists and public blogs—even photo albums posted by friends or family and genealogy web sites.
Many are legitimate and harmless: we typed the name of Parenting Press’s founder into Google Groups (groups.google.com) and found 39 newsgroup references, all posted by readers of her books.
Others are frightening: we searched with the telephone number of a neighbor and discovered a blog where a teenage friend of the neighbor’s daughter had posted the phone number, the neighbor girl’s unusual first name and the name of a festival that identified their home as Seattle—with an open invitation to join the girls at the festival.
Because each search engine finds different information, and some do not index blogs or newsgroups, it’s important to use more than one search engine for this exercise.
A “people finder” engine may list other names you have used on driver licenses, credit cards, and real estate purchases, the names of adult family members, everyone’s ages or dates of birth and the cities where you have lived. This is an example of what may be available for free. Anyone willing to pay $9.95 can obtain more specific information.
Protect sensitive information
Passwords that parents control are an excellent way to limit access to financial information, including tax preparation software, credit card numbers, PayPal passwords and bank accounts. Change passwords as often as every quarter.
When a web site asks if you’d like to have your user name and password stored with “autofill” (sometimes as a “passcard”) so that the information doesn’t have to be keyed in each time, determine whether the convenience is worth the risk of your child (or one of your children’s friends) accessing the site.
Install filters, firewalls, virus, phishing and spyware protection
Try to block spam, hackers and viruses. Research what monitoring software may reduce your children’s access to risky and offensive web sites. (Remember every system has limitations).
To help avoid fraudulent web sites, install a browser toolbar that alerts you if you’ve selected a known phishing site. (The Anti-Phishing Working Group recommends the most recent versions of Internet Explorer and FireFox 2 and the free EarthLink ScamBlocker, available to all Internet users at www.earthlink.net/earthlinktoolbar.)
Install spyware protection to detect software that puts ads on your computer, collects personal information, or changes the configuration of your computer.
Spyware is not always bad: people sometimes agree to receive targeted ads in return for a free service such as music or shareware. However, some spyware, often installed without your knowledge when you download something else, can make the computer run very slowly, or crash. It can change your browser, your home page, your default search page, and make it very difficult for you to return to your original settings.
Use passwords to control access to the Internet
Law enforcement professionals recommend that parents present computer use as a privilege, with children’s use of the Internet contingent on you having a record of their user names and passwords.
Obviously it doesn’t take much to get around this family rule: kids can create free e-mail accounts and use them on computers at school, on friends’ computers and on public computers. You can, however, make your children aware that you occasionally check their accounts and use a search engine to see what they have posted and that they will lose all computer privileges if they have secret accounts.
Use browser controls
With a command such as “Content Adviser” (reached from “Tools” in programs such as Explorer) you can better control what your children see. Remember that a restrictive setting for “nudity” or “breast” may block images of classic art and information on breast cancer as well as provocative photos. Images that do not have descriptive names (for example, “girls” instead of “nude girls”) will slip through the blocking software because the name, not the image, is what is screened. Most browsers also allow you to block pop-ups, which can be additional information that’s of value—or can be advertisements, often of a sensational nature.
Set the preferences for each identity so that only you can delete the history of web sites your child has visited. Use this history to review what your child accesses; if necessary, add URLs from the history to the “blocked sites” list.
Remember to set controls for each browser on the computer, not only the default browser.
Default to kid-friendly portals
For each child’s identity, choose default directories and search engines such as Yahoo Kids (kids.yahoo.com) and Ask for Kids (formerly Ask Jeeves for Kids) www.askforkids.com, that automatically block inappropriate web sites.