Dealing with Disappointment

Who’s responsible for happiness? Is it your obligation as a parent to make your children happy?

No, says veteran parent educator Crary in this thoughtful new book. And worse yet, if you put too much effort into preventing or reducing your child’s dissatisfaction with homework, chores or other parts of our daily routine, your children do not develop the skills they need to handle frustration and disappointment.

This practical, easy-to-read guide walks parents through the concept of emotional competency, which begins by teaching children to identify and acknowledge their feelings.

Then it provides exercises and examples that demonstrate how children — even toddlers — can cope with their emotions, using self-calming techniques (exercise or a few minutes with a favorite book, for example) and problem-solving tools.

Parents who too often find themselves overwhelmed by frustrated children will appreciate the step-by-step recommendations. Crary’s straightforward suggestions will help you survive emotional meltdowns — and think through how to prevent future problems. She also identifies how a parent’s role changes as children grow and become better able to handle disappointments.

Perhaps just as important, the author talks about how parents can keep themselves calm so they can recognize and manage both the causes and results of children’s frustration